I got bored after lunch and decided to grab my camera and take a walk-about the neighborhood and snap some pics.
Camera in hand, a pack of smokes & lighter and my ipod, I hit the industrial park across the street and started snappin' away.
I decided to take some pics of the industrial artwork in the Triangle Plaza. So I took a few pics the building, the Rexam logo the address numbers on the sidewalk and a patch of ornamental wheat grass.
Well, listening intently to the Matt Dahl Podcast (my new favorite things to do to rid myself of boredom) and just generally losing myself in my lackadasical walkabout, I was suddenly jarred back to reality by a female security guard.
She was apparently talking to me, but since I had my headphones on, I didn't hear a damn word she was saying to me.
So I removed my headphones to be lambasted in broken Polish/English.
Polish Female Security Guard: What are you doing?
Me: Uh... taking some pictures.
I thought it was pretty apparent as to what I was doing.
Polish Security Guard: Of What?
Again, it was pretty plain to see what I was taking a picture, as it was a monstorous piece of artwork.
Me: This here Art.
Polish Security Guard: Why? (saying as if she couldn't understand why I would be taking picture of artwork)
Me: Why? Um... because it's art.
Polish Security Guard: You can't be taking pictures here. This is private property.
Me: Ok, Ok, already... Jesus Christ.
Polish Security Guard: You can't take pictures. This is America.
Me: Ok.. (Wait? What was that? WTF does that mean?)
This made absolutely no sense whatsoever. Just because this IS America, I CAN take pictures of buildings and artwork. WTF is this stupid Polish Beeotch talking about. And why would she even bring America up in this little conversation of ours?
So, me not wanting to have confrontation, I left this anomaly be...
Polish Security Guard: You are trespassing on private property. I am going to have to ask you to come with me.
Ha! Fuck that. Who does this lady think she is, Polish Kojak?
Me: No thank you. I am done taking pictures. I'm leaving.
Polish Security Guard: What are you doing here? Where do you live? Please hand over your camera and come with me.
Me: (i'm finding this very amusing) I told you I am taking pictures of this Art. I live here and no I will not hand over my camera.
Polish Security Guard: How did you get here? Where's your car?
Me: I told you, I live here!!! Across the street. I walked across the street.
I'm fed up this this Bullshit and this stupid C***. She's taking her job way to seriously. (I would know as I used to be a Security guard back in the day and know what a Bullshit job it is.)
I thought to myself... Wait a minute. Does she know what America is. This isn't the Communist Poland fer Christ Sakes... I'm not sure if I was trespassing or not, but fuck that if she thinks I'm going to go with her and wait for the police to come and book me for apparently trespassing on private property to take a picture of a public art piece.
If they didn't want people to come take pictures of this piece of shitback sculpture then why would the put it their, eh???
The Security Guard stresses to me again that I need to hand over my camera and come with her.
So I put my head phones back on, and begin to walk away..
I hear her raising her broken English voice to me again and I feel (sixth sense like) that she is going to try to detain me.
So I break out into a brisk walk (like the Olympic speed walkers do) and head toward the exit of the parking lot.
Then I hear her radio in something; not sure what, but I'm guessing she was looking for her buddies to help detain me.
Jesus eFin' Christ Almighty... I just wanted to take a flippin' nice little picture of this Art piece to post on Flickr.
But apparently you can't do this any longer. This is America. The Communist Polish Confederacy of America or something like that...
So I apparently eluded capture from the Polish Rent-a-Cop, but now I'm pissed and out the prove a point. Not sure what that point is, but I'll be back with my camera.
Just for a picture of this stupid Artwork, I get hassled by the KGB..
Makes me wonder what the hell is so important in this building. Are they hiding something? And WTF is Rexam? Should I care, and should you? I'll probably be back to hassle her now that she pissed me totally off.
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